Mad fox, bad fox, just another dead fox.
I almost forgot how shitty it feels. I used to know it very well. It used to come to me first thing in the morning, sometimes it didn't even leave me when I slept, it would come in the dreams. Dreams... I've always had premonitions through them. Sometimes strong and clear, sometimes feeble and confused. Perhaps it depends on the feelings of the other person, the person I had feelings for at that time. If they were sure they didn't want me in their life I would get a strong and clear message in a dream. If they were confused themselves I would be just as confused in my dream about them. Yeah, its weird like that.
Well, the dreams have been confused. And the messages have been mixed. Long ago I've learned to pay more attention to actions than to words. Her words are still sweet and encouraging. Her actions are another story. We haven't been properly intimate in ages and I am afraid the cracks are showing. Every date I set - some shit happens. She is sick, someone died, someone coming to visit and so on and so forth. She never says no, its just never happens anymore. She pulls away from my kisses and slips away from my embrace. The pain is unbearable. Yet its not new. I've known it many times. And now its back. Am I doomed? Is my every relationship going to end up in this misery? What goes up, must come down, no? Fuck if I knew..
God, people, if you don't feel the same way towards your lovers anymore, just make a clean break. Deal us a mercy blow so we can cry, drink, grieve and eventually recover. Don't fucking string us along in false hope! Get some fucking guts in you.
I wasn't perfect in this relationship but I tried so hard. I've learned to trust (not really my nature) and I've learned compassion (as much as I am capable anyway). Well, fucking news flash for you, I've got needs too!
I don't know whats going to happen. All I know for now that it hurts like hell.
Well, the dreams have been confused. And the messages have been mixed. Long ago I've learned to pay more attention to actions than to words. Her words are still sweet and encouraging. Her actions are another story. We haven't been properly intimate in ages and I am afraid the cracks are showing. Every date I set - some shit happens. She is sick, someone died, someone coming to visit and so on and so forth. She never says no, its just never happens anymore. She pulls away from my kisses and slips away from my embrace. The pain is unbearable. Yet its not new. I've known it many times. And now its back. Am I doomed? Is my every relationship going to end up in this misery? What goes up, must come down, no? Fuck if I knew..
God, people, if you don't feel the same way towards your lovers anymore, just make a clean break. Deal us a mercy blow so we can cry, drink, grieve and eventually recover. Don't fucking string us along in false hope! Get some fucking guts in you.
I wasn't perfect in this relationship but I tried so hard. I've learned to trust (not really my nature) and I've learned compassion (as much as I am capable anyway). Well, fucking news flash for you, I've got needs too!
I don't know whats going to happen. All I know for now that it hurts like hell.