soooo.... I went to 3 AA meeting. All well and good, maybe, but I have decided not to continue with them. The reason being the first step of the 12step program. "I have admitted that I am powerless over alcohol - that my life had become unmanageable" Umm, NO. I can't admit powerlessnes when I haven't even tried. And when I had in the past it was successful. Also, my life is fine and far from being unmanageable. Guess thats the program for those who have hit the rock bottom. I haven't, and don't intend to. Something just rose up inside of me when their speaker was talking of complete defeat and surrender. That was probably pride but I have a proven record of beating addiction on my own (with the help of lots of reading on the subject). I did stop drinking for 11 years and I did stop smoking in 2005. So I see absolutely no reason to admit to powerlessness. That's probably not a very helpful concept anyway when one is trying to fight his demons.

As usual, when I don't want to do something I go looking for reasons not to do it))) And with AA there appears to be plenty The Orange papers

So I intend to just stop on my own. But the whole thing wasn't for nothing, because I have started to read on alcohol addiction and have realised what the issue was. My mistake was in trying to be a social drinker. Unfortunately, I have an addictive personality and I always need more of a good thing. So obviously, moderate drinking is not going to happen for me. I have to stop drinking just like I quit smoking: cold turkey - not a single puff allowed. A single puff will lead to an eventual return to previous levels of smoking (the theory is here - that's the website that helped me to eventually quit smoking)


Мало пить мне не интересно, много вредно - а меры я не знаю. Так что пить не будем вообще.

Рассказала про свои метания дуалу. Реакция: